The Intimacy Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries immense significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near and bonded with check it out our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, well-being, and love .

But when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in city locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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